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.....
"If
you're a cop, I'm Warren Buffett," Milo says. They're sipping hundred-dollar
scotch in a hot tub bigger than the widow's kitchen. The mansion's owners
are in France for the summer. The way Milo is kicked back in the tub, Pullman
can tell he's in his element. He imagines the kid as a greedy-eyed private
roaming an abandoned Iraqi palace, savoring the opulence, moments before
the bomb goes off underfoot.
..... "Not
a cop, no," Pullman says. "More of a security consultant."
..... "Not
in Dad's club either, I'll bet."
..... "They
welcome visitors of all stripes. Great place to meet new friends."
..... "Why
my mother?"
..... "Why
what? She's a gentle soul." Pullman wags a finger at the kid. "Treasure
that woman while you have her."
..... "Right,"
says Milo. "And your wife? She really leave you for a heart surgeon?"
..... "Hand
surgeon," Pullman says. "But really, what does all this matter?"
..... "Just
wanna know who I'm dealin' with."
..... "Maybe
she's buried in the woods," Pullman says and lets loose with bark-like
laugh. "Listen, kid, there's nothing wrong with a little mystery in
life. You ever hear the phrase 'familiarity breeds contempt'?"
..... Pullman is moving closer, waving his
hands as he talks.
..... "Really,
now. Imagine you had no back-story. That every one of your relationships
was fresh. Unburdened. That every waking day of your life was a new movie,
with all new scenes. All new characters."
..... "Sounds
like one corker of a midlife crisis," says Milo.
..... "Not
a crisis," says Pullman, coming out of the water, eyes wide, spittle
flying. "I'm talking about variety. Adventure. The drama of the unknown."
..... "Drama
of the unknown," the kid repeats, easing away as subtly as he dares.
"Huh."
..... Pullman watches the kid cower and drops
his arms to his side. He knows the kid doesn't get it. Milo takes a drink
with a quivering hand.
..... "So,"
the kid says after a few moments. "Is this where you baked the cookies?
Do you even have a home?"
..... Pullman sighs and shakes his head, clearly
disappointed in his understudy.
..... "Sorry:
mystery," Milo says, and looks around the massive play den for the
twentieth time.
..... "Can
you believe these motherfuckers have a boxing ring?"
***
.....
Two nights earlier Pullman encountered a handyman as he, Pullman, vacated
the shitter doing his handgrips. The handyman carried a clipboard in one
hand and a pair of wire snips in the other.
..... Pullman's thought process: Who the
hell schedules a handyman when they're away for the summer, unless they
really know that person, in which case there's no way I'm bullshitting
my way out of this.
..... When the handyman's expression confirmed
this, Pullman dropped the handgrips, grabbed him around the neck and slammed
him against the wall. Except the handyman came up lickety-split with the
wire snips and snipped through Pullman's earlobe. Pullman elbowed him
hard in the face, shattering bone, and the handyman fell to the floor
unconscious.
..... As the blood from his ear drained onto
his shoulder, Pullman knew he should vacate the premises for a hotel ten
towns away, but he had a good thing going here. Never before had he baked
his cookies in a stainless steel kitchen. Or eaten his Doritos while watching
Sixteen Candles on a projection TV. Or played Galaga, his favorite, without
burning through a pocketful of quarters.
..... He looked down at the handyman-about
Pullman's age, forty-two, but bald as a cue and stork-skinny, no wedding
ring-and figured he had at least a few days before someone noticed him
missing. He retrieved the wire snips and dropped to a knee. The handyman's
nose was disjointed and Pullman reached down and pulled it back into place,
a simple matter of dignity.
..... The handyman stirred, groggily at first,
then with venom. Pullman pinned his skinny ass to the floor and went about
protecting his way of life.
***
.....
"It's a way of life,"
Pullman tells the kid now. "We're not 'fuckin' bums,' as you so eloquently
put it. We're professional squatters."
..... They're sitting on stools in opposite
corners of the ring as the kid straps on his leg. Each wearing boxing
trunks, high-tops laced to the calves, but not the headgear. Fuck the
headgear.
..... Pullman is laying it out for him. There's
a network of folks like him across the country who keep each other informed.
Who look out for one another. Realtors, security pros, meter readers,
carpet cleaners, even some cops. Most of them have been laid off, he says,
and who does it hurt if they occupy a little space in a foreclosed home
or, god help us, a castle like this that sits empty for the summer?
..... The key, Pullman explains, is to leave
things pretty much as you found them. To drink only an inch or two from
the scotch bottle. Eat only the canned ravioli and peas. Take only half
the change from the jar, loose bills if you're lucky, but never the valuables.
That's the first thing they'll notice.
..... Milo knows he's being recruited, although
an official offer has yet to be extended. This Pullman character is gauging
his mettle. Talking some wild shit. Fuck it. Whatever. The kid finishes
strapping on the leg and slips on the gloves.
..... "Ding
ding," Pullman says, and they start circling one another. The kid
moves pretty well with the fake leg. He's an inch or two shorter than
Pullman, but thicker through the chest and shoulders with the start of
a potbelly. Pullman studies Milo's gray eyes, but the kid's a hard read.
Could be an asset, could be a dud. Pullman will deal with it either way.
..... He darts in and snaps off a couple
jabs. The kid gets his arms up just in time.
..... "Nice,"
Pullman says, and dances away. "Tell me, what are you going to do
with your life? Surely not sit around feeling sorry for yourself."
..... But the kid has his own questions.
"What do you do for money? If you don't sack the houses?"
..... Pullman lands a jab, then an uppercut,
sending the kid wobbling back on his fake leg.
..... "Watch
him now." He backs off to let the kid recover. "You get more
than you might think"-he smiles and nods at a black duffel bag in
the corner-"and I'm good at saving."
..... Milo tries him, throwing a wild roundhouse.
Pullman ducks it easily and the kid spins around and nearly falls on his
ass. He spits in embarrassment as Pullman laughs.
..... "S'okay,
s'okay," Pullman says, moving in. "Listen, I appreciate what
you did over there. The sacrifice you made. It's a damn shame you can't
find work, but I think I can help you out."
..... "What
sacrifice?" says Milo, dodging another blow, getting the hang of
it.
..... "The
war," says Pullman, deflecting a shot from the kid. "What was
it, a landmine?"
..... "War?"
says the kid. "I wasn't in the war."
..... Pullman hesitates, lowering his gloves,
and this all the kid needs. He drops the squatter with a shot to the chin.
..... "Wha
.." Pullman says from his hands and knees. He looks up to see Milo
flip off his gloves. The kid steps forward and drills him bare-knuckled
in the jaw. Pullman goes face-first onto the canvas.
..... Tasting blood, he fights to keep his
brain functioning, his eyes open. He rolls to his side and there's the
kid, sitting next to him, removing his prosthesis. Pullman knows he should
get up, but he's seriously dazed, rubber-limbed.
..... "Your
old lady," he manages, spitting out a tooth. "Said you weren't
right
since you came back from that place."
..... "She
meant the eighth floor, genius."
..... Eighth floor? Pullman thinks. Then
he gets it: the psych ward.
..... "I
was a cutter," the kid says. "Cut so much I got gangrene, they
had to take it off."
..... The kid has the prosthesis off and
now he rises to one knee, using his stub for balance. Holding the leg
over his shoulder like an ax, he says, "How do I get a hold of these
people? In this network of yours?"
..... "Little
black book in the duffel. But it won't work-they don't know you."
..... "Bullshit,"
says Milo. "They don't know you either. It's not like you're havin'
fuckin' dinner parties, am I right? What do you, text each other? Use
code words?"
..... Pullman begins to rise, the ropes spinning
around him like a kaleidoscope. If only he could get to the duffel bag,
and the nickel-plated .45 inside
now that's a piece, one of the
few valuables he's lifted from his travels. He remembers how it was tucked
away on a shelf in a furnace room, wrapped in ratty old T-shirt, definitely
worth the chance
..... "Pay
attention!" Milo shoves him back down and Pullman's shattered jaw
hits the canvas, sending a shockwave through his skull. The kid is asking
how the compensation works-"Let me guess, leave a Benjamin behind
for the meter-reader?"-but Pullman is done with this twit, he's made
a bad read, kid's got about as much dignity as a shit-throwing monkey.
..... Milo Svoboda will never honor the network,
never respect home and property, never bake cookies for strangers
..... Pullman comes up, last-ditch, but he's
too damaged, too slow, and he's met with the kid's maniacal grin, and
the prosthetic leg, arcing up, and then down, and the kid is grunting
now, growling in rage as he hammers away, turning the squatter's head
to mush.
..... Pullman's final thoughts: This movie
will not end well. But then, not all of them do.
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